Peace is my way

Its my birthday and I'll cry if I want to

So yay, I'm 20.  Its technically no longer my birthday.  It was a good time.  I worked.  Yeah, not so much fun.  But hey, I made a pretty penny during the shifts so its cool.

I move at the end of this week - yay!  That is what I'm excited for.  I can't wait to move into my new apartment.  I just need to finish cleaning out this one....

My Birthday

I got a card in the mail today wishing me happy birthday.  I forgot my birthday was in *looks at the calendar* 13 days.  Wow...I'm going to be 20 soon.  Whoopee.  Okay, not really.  I'll be at work.  Yay. 

College sucks.

The Move

Its happening!

My father and I worked out the extra money and I get to move into Beaverton.  Its a decent sized, 1 br/1 bath in a quiet, safe area off of a main road.  The property manager is super nice and its a super quiet community which is always nice plus its nice and cheap too.

I'm going to move the first week of July which means after that - no more 1 long commute each way, everyday!  Yay.

The Insanity

I have the most entertaining job at night.  While work itself is kind of annoying (folding laundry is a bitch) it can be down right hilarious.  Take tonight (well last night - whatever) for example.  One of the guests called down to the front desk and complained about noise.  I asked if they knew where it was coming from (makes it easier for me to verify if I know where to look/listen).  They said no - it just sounded like a party.  Now, if there was a party I would have heard it during one of my walk throughs or even down at the front desk.  Its not a huge hotel.

Since they had no idea I did a walk through of the hotel and listened.  Checked out the second floor three times (we only have two floors) and couldn't find any noise.  Baffled, I went back to my economics book , thinking they must have quieted down.  Bout 20 minutes later I get another call, from the same people complaining about noise.  I explained that last time I walked through and couldn't hear it.  They were adament it was still going on.  By now it was around 2:45am and I hadn't heard any noise all night.  So, I went back upstairs and walked around for a bit.  Hung out in both end of the hall for a bit.  Not a noise.  Confused, I went back downstairs and walked through those halls.  After I still couldn't hear anything I went back to my book.  Bout 30 minutes later the same people called, again.  I repeated the walk throughs again and still couldn't hear anything.  At this point I figured they were fucking with me and went back to doing laundry pissed off.  Bout 20 minutes later they called AGAIN.  I asked them if their window was open.  They said yes.  I asked them to see if the noise was coming from outside.  IT WAS.  Holy fuck.  I nearly screamed at them.  I told them to shut their window and just turn on the AC in their room.  Dumb mother fuckers.

The End

The end has come for my apartment search.  As of right now I have looked at, visited and/or called 207 apartments and that does not include the ones I found that were listed as way out of my price range.  Unfortunately, rent has gone way up in WA County and unless I feel the urge to work 35 hours/week at the hotel plus 20 hours/week at my internship, I would not be able to afford the apartment.  I can afford it now - its when school starts that is the problem.  My rent money, which is normally provided for me, is based on living expenses in Monmouth, OR which is WAY cheaper than out here.  So, it turns out that unless I can come up with $200-300 dollars/month that I don't have to actually work for - I'm staying here.  'Cause while I'd be miserable at either place, this place doesn't involve misery and moving.  Just misery.

So, I shall be staying in Forest Grove.  The good part of Forest Grove which includes a meth house down the street from me.  Did I mention I live across the street from the school?  Yeah, Forest Grove is a shady town.  On more than one occasion I have walked onto the landing to go downstairs to my car and seen someone pulling on all the handles of the cars in the complex including mine.  I have to leave all doors locked at all times or face what two of my friends did: a crackhead wandering into the house and walking about WHILE THEY WERE IN THE HOUSE.  The Grove sucks so much not a single one of my friends lives here anymore.  There is one left - she leaves in Mid-August.  Literally, I wrote out a list of where everyone lives and not a single one lives within 30 minutes of me.  All of my friends live a good 30 minutes away.  My work is only an hour+ away.  Which, by the way, I may not get to work at this school year 'cause I can't fit in an Hour+ commute each way.  My wonderful apartment which is inbetween two very loud apartments (blaring self help tapes on one side and loud children on the other) which has only two windows in the whole place.  One has a very charming view of an enclosed stairwell and my kitchen that is so clausterphobic I can't stand to cook.  Not that cooking would be easy considering I have like zero counterspace.   

Anyone got $200-300 a month they wanna give me?

The Never Ending Saga

of my moving situation.  I don't want to live in Forest Grove anymore.  So, I'm moving to Beaverton.  For a lot of reasons: the Grove sucks, there is a meth house down the block from where I live - and I live in a nice area - everything closes at 9pm, I got in Beaverton/Hillsboro everyday to go out to eat, hang out etc, all my friends have moved out of the Grove, I work in Portland everyday during the summer and three days a week during the school year and oh yeah - my apartment bugs the fuck out of me.  Obvious solution right?  Yeah, not so much.  Moving sucks.  Every single apartment I've found online or via telephone is no longer available when I try to apply for it.  Bullocks.  Wish me luck tomorrow - Sarah and I are going out on a mass hunt.  I shall move damnit.  Hopefully by my birthday.

From an old webblog

*Warning* - This post may offend some.  Before you get pissed off too much and call me a gay basher, read the whole thing. 

Now a days, if a chick is bisexual it ups not only her attractivness but her popularity. While it is sometimes considering wrong to be gay or lesbian, bis are welcomed with open arms. Why you ask? Because guys think it is cool and girls want to be cool. Its a win-win situation for both sexes.

The boys are happy because they get to watch chicks make out with each other (or more). They think, "wow, two chicks are better than one!" They get to watch two girls degrade themselves for the sheer enjoyment of the boys, hoping to gain their attention. Glad to see girls enjoy turning themselves into objects.

Girls are happy with the idea because they are able to gain boys' attention. Plus, its a great way to bond with their friends right! Um, no.

The problem is those of us who are truly bisexual get a really bad name. People claim bisexuality is not even a real thing and that is partially due to this epidemic of wannabe bi chicks. All these girls are looking for is attention and unfortunately, they get it. I know more straight girls who admit to be being bi than bi chicks. I can think of five different bisexual chicks that I know that will not admit to people they are bi because of this epidemic.

Its like a whole new form of oppression for homosexuals. Obviously, bisexual people do not face the same discrimination that gays, lesbians, trans etc face because we can easily pass as hetero. But when these girls pretend to be bisexual they trivialize people, especially girls, who are attracted to both sexes.

I've voiced my disgust at this epidemic at parties and have been told to just get over it. Maybe I should. But people need to realize that while it may get a guy, it also gets those of us who really do like both sexes not only a bad name, but called fakers.

Bottom line: if you are into only dicks then don't pretend to like chicks.

So apparently

I look like Suzanne Vega....yeah, I don't know who that is either.  But according to MyHeritageFace Recognition I do.

Also on the list:
Carrie Ann Moss
Keira Knightley
Steven Gerrard
Tiger Woods....

Should I be somehow offended I look like Tiger Woods?

The man who makes me want to commit suicide

His name is W.  Yes, is a he.  He's a good guy.  Mostly.  I'd call him evil but that name is reserved for C's boyfriend B.  He's evil.  Anyway, I want to kill myself whenever he re-enters my little world.  Okay, no he's not an ex: thank god.  He makes me want to kill myself in another manner: He reminds me that I'm mediocre.  The worst part?  I don't think he means to be that way.  In fact, its nearly impossible for him to do it on purpose 'cause its all in my head.  I seriously get a complex whenever anyone brings him up.  Why does this happen?  Because he's so damn good at what I want to be good at.  Let me explain.

I get not only one, but two good internships for the summer and I'm stoaked.  I feel great about myself and all that crap.  Then one day his e-mail comes along stating "Since I recently accepted a job working for the United Nations Development Programme in Afghanistan, I am updating my address book before I leave. While I'm in Afghanistan, I'm hoping that I can stay in touch with some people back home."  Yes, I want to kill myself.  Why can't I be super like him?  Huh?  Huh?  Will I ever make it in the Development arena?  Maybe.  But he sure makes it seem like I won't.  Why?  Because at a year older than me (but same year in undergrad) he's a million times more accomplished.  Ass.

Oh?  Am I obbessing and does this look totally off my rocker?  Uh duh.  Already aware.  And if I forget Sarah reminds me.  I just hope no one reads this that knows W.  Anyone who knows him will totally know I'm talking about him.  He's just like that.  I hate him.  Not really.  But almost.

Oh yeah

I gotta find somewhere new to live.  I'm sick of living an hour from work.  Blah.